Mistaken for Pregnant, at the Gym

Yep.  That’s a real thing that happened to me.

I’m still processing it. Mulling it all over. Trying to determine if I find this event a) motivating, or b) deflating in my overall efforts to improve my fitness.

So here’s how it went down.

Stonewear Spring Lola Rockin at Bookcliffs

Back when I was a women’s active wear Ambassador for Stonewear, a couple years ago. I’ve gained about 10 lbs since then.

Never, Ever Ask a Woman if She’s Expecting. Just Don’t.

I liked him at first.  He had brought his own towel laced with eucalyptus oil, and had draped it over the steam vent.  I love this effect, and the steam room smelled much better than it normally does.  So I was appreciative.  We were amicable steam room buddies, at this point.  Off to a great start.

Then he asks me a question, in very broken English.  An older Hispanic gentlemen, I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying.  He repeats himself, while rubbing his stomach by way of a demonstrative gesture.  And it dawns on me what he is asking.

“Is baby coming?”

Ouch.  Am I pregnant?  So apparently I look pregnant in my swimsuit.  That’s awesome.

I was so stunned at first, I didn’t even know how to respond.  Of course then my Midwestern upbringing quickly kicked in, and my next thought was to not be rude.  (You know… even though HE had technically just said something rude to ME.)  I chuckle, and prattle on about how I’ve had two children.  Like I owe him some sort of explanation.

No, I’m not pregnant.  Thanks for asking.

Although my ego was a bit bruised, my next reaction was to think it was kind of funny.  Honestly, what man asks this question??  How did he make it this far without learning this very basic lesson in life?

Never ask a woman if she’s expecting.  Ever.  There are no exceptions to this rule.

Those Blissfully Ignorant Commenters

I will say that when I encounter people such as this, I find it a bit intriguing.  People who say insulting things, but in what appears to be innocent sincerity.  It is my belief that they truly don’t realize how rude and socially unacceptable they are being.  It’s a fascinating and amusing social experiment, of sorts.

Like the time I told a friend of mine that I was tired of training for the runDisney Princess Half Marathon, my first half marathon ever.  A non-runner at the start, I had worked really, really hard.  For six months.  And I had just completed my final, 13 mile training run before the event.  I was feeling pretty good about that!

“Oh, so what was your time?” she asked.

Feeling a little put on the spot, I answer “I finished in 2 hrs 40 minutes”.  Hello!  That’s TWO HOURS AND FORTY MINUTES OF RUNNING, PEOPLE!  Can I get a witness?

“Oh… so about a half hour slower than most people”, she points out.


What did she just say?  Than “MOST PEOPLE”?  Most people who RUN 13 MILES?!

Good grief.

Time to Throw in the Towel?

Anyways, I digress.  Back to the pregnancy accusation.  After the initial shock and mini-roller coaster of emotions upon hearing “Is baby coming?”… my inner voice started to agree with his assessment.  “I know, right?  This stubborn layer of belly fat is a total drag!”

So do I try harder at the gym?

Or do I throw in the towel?

I will say now that I’m in my 40’s, I find it much more motivating to exercise for the sake of my health.  I can still move freely, and I appreciate that.  I like feeling strong, and able to keep up with my kids.  My doctor has explained to me that this is the last decade I have to build bone density.  It all adds up, and makes continuing to try and exercise regularly worth the effort.

Whether or not I look PREGNANT in my tankini.

I guess maybe I should be flattered that he thought I was young enough to be having a baby?  😉

*o*     *o*     *o*

Has this ever happened to you?  How did you respond….?

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About COMtnMom

Hi, I'm Tami! Writer, Influencer, and mom of two who loves travel, the outdoors, staying active, photography, reading books, and eating desserts. We are pretty much always planning our next trip to Disney World.


  1. Well…sort of. I had an older Hispanic gentleman point to my children and ask if I was their grandmother. Ouch. I kind of pride myself in the fact that I look and act younger than many people my own age. But apparently, I’m mistaken and my mirror is a big fat liar! 😀

  2. wendy browne says:

    I had my third baby at almost 46 and was constantly asked if I was his grandma, it happens. People just sometimes feel the need to say something, like a compulsion. It’s not done with malice in most cases and even if it was, the opinions of strangers really shouldn’t affect you. I’m curious why you mentioned that your friend was older and overweight. Would it have been less offensive if she was the physical mirror image of yourself?

    • First, congratulations on that third baby! I would have loved to have a third child. I’m grateful that given my late start, I was able to have my 2 kids (though that was a rocky road, with multiple miscarriages).

      You make a very good point, and I apologize for my description of my friend. I got caught up in my storytelling and painting a picture. And it’s someone who has hurt my feelings on numerous occasions, so in pettiness I let slip a bit of my annoyance towards her.

      I’ve edited that part, and am sorry if I offended you!

      Thanks Wendy. 😉

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