Please Don’t Make Me Give Up Gluten

For a few weeks now, my guts have been messed up.  I really don’t enjoy having to say the word “bloated”, but that’s how I feel, all the time, and especially after I eat. And that’s no walk in the park, let me tell you.  “Is this just more of the infernal, par-for-the-course aging process?  Or is there something more sinister at play here?”, I pondered.

I hate the expression “gluten free”.  It annoys me.  I hate hearing it, I don’t want to think about it.  It’s a fad, already… get over yourself.  Here, have a cookie… you’ll feel better.

Unless it’s not a fad.

It occurred to me one night, when I was particularly miserable, “What if it’s something I’m eating?”

NOOOOO!!!!

But I Don’t Wanna Be Gluten-Free

So I ask the Google.  Turns out the wheat we eat these days is nothing like the wheat of years ago.  The fallout from being genetically modified to withstand drought, bugs, and so on, and so forth is that wheat now has a new protein it never had before.  And that protein is often what our body can’t process well. Which cause inflammation and all sorts of problems.

Or it could be dairy.

Or it could be FODMAP.  (Ask the Google.)

*heavy sigh*

I dread this discovery about myself more than you can know.  But I’m also the first to admit my eating could use a tune-up, as I pretty much eat whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it.  And I’m getting too old for that kind of craziness.

I decided this week to at least try eating less gluten.  It’s a heavy lift to go completely gluten free, as I suspect it’s not just as straightforward as “don’t eat bread, pasta, or tortillas”.  Did you know gluten is in soy sauce?!

The Devastating Results

After two days, I feel better.

NOOOOOO!!!!

I’m struggling to be as nice to people at work as I can, without having had a donut.  The struggle is real.

But I can’t deny that I feel better.  So I’ve decided I’ll ride out this experiment for a few days.  At least as long as it takes me to consume the weird, icky (ok they’re not that bad), expensive gluten-free foods I bought like Udi’s bread, quinoa, corn tortillas, and rice pasta.

Maybe it can just be a little re-set for my system?  And then I can go back to a happy life, eating pizza and donuts?

A girl can dream.

*o*     *o*     *o*

Have you tried this?  Any tips for me?